What's worse?
by SilentPatronus
Summary: Jonny raises what he thinks is an interesting question with the wrong person.


**Okay this didn't quite turn out as planned but enjoy!**

* * *

It was a night shift and a quiet on too meaning there was little for the staff on Darwin ward to do apart from the observations. No theatre slots, no one demanding their attention. For the first time in months it was peaceful, which was more than they all could have asked for. Mo and Jonny were scheduled for this shift so it was no surprise to see them wandering between the walls of Darwin aimlessly trying to pass as much time as possible. Mo was getting slightly fed up of Jonny who now sounded like a stuck record going on and on about fatherhood. She couldn't even remember what they used to talk about before they moved to Holby. For the best part of a year she had to put up with his constant moping around after being shrugged off by Jac countless times. The rest of the time since then was how he couldn't wait to be a father.

"But Mo I'm telling you it's gonna be a girl! Not that I mind having a wee lad. Oh I just…" Jonny had gone off on one of his tangents again grinning and getting excited. Mo loved seeing him so happy she just wished he didn't have to mention it ever five seconds.

"Jonny Mac," she tried to butt in.

"I just want to have him or her in my arms right now, you know?" He said staring up to the left as if imagining it all.

"Earth to Jonny," Mo waved her hand in front of his face trying to grab his attention. Finally he seemed to slip out of his little world and cocked his head so that it was now facing Mo, and from wandering around Darwin they had now found their way back to the nurses' station. "Isn't Elliot meant to be on shift?"

Jonny shrugged not really knowing either way not that Mo was surprised as clearly he had other things on his mind at the moment. At least he wasn't getting distracted from his actual work. "He's probably in his office or something."

"No, I checked there earlier, the lights off." Mo said rather puzzled as she shuffled round some papers at the nurses' station in order to find the rota to confirm that Elliot was meant to be on shift. She pulled out what looked like a table full of names and numbers. She scrolled her finger down the list and read it carefully. "Yeah, Elliot should be here…"

Jonny sat down in a chair in front of a computer and swivelled it round to face Mo. "Well maybe he's sleeping… or eating!" Jonny pointed out. But Mo remained unconvinced and especially with her being as nosey as she is and felt obliged to snoop around. Mo's facial expression changed when she heard a 'bang' from behind Jonny and saw the ice-queen, ginger witch Jac Naylor walk towards them. "What's wrong now?" Jonny asked her clearly oblivious to the sound of a door closing or the presence of another member of staff on the ward.

"Who's had coffee?" The sharp voice of the cardiothoracic surgeon Jac Naylor echoed throughout the ward. It didn't seem to come to her attention that it was a night shift and there were patients around trying to get some sleep. Jonny immediately turned his chair round with a coffee in his hand to see her standing there folding her arms frowning at him.

"What are you doing here? Didn't your shift finish… "He checked his watch for the time, "two hours ago?" He cocked his head back up towards Jac whose eyes were firmly on the coffee in his hand and a scowl etched on her face. 'Alright, alright, I'm getting rid of it." He held up the hand in which he wasn't holding the coffee in to surrender and used his foot to open the lid of the bin under the desk in front of him before shoving the coffee in there.

Jac's position remained unchanged. "I want that coffee off my ward in twenty seconds or you'll have my retching to deal with."

Jonny started mumbling to himself as he removed the coffee from the bin and scuttled off somewhere to get rid of the coffee. If he'd known he was working a night shift with her he would never have bought the coffee in the first place. He was looking forward to it as well. He found his way inside the lift and pressing the button for the exit and stood there awkwardly with a few other colleagues in the lift waiting for it to close and take him down. He didn't even get the chance to even try it and was now feeling slightly parched as he thought about it more and more making his throat feel all the more dry. This encouraged him upon exiting the lift and disposing of the coffee in the nearest bin to grab a hot chocolate for himself and while he was at it for Jac too so there were no complaints.

As he re-entered Darwin he smiled smugly with the two hot chocolates in his hands. Jac was sitting at the nurses' station doing what he didn't know and Mo was elsewhere. Upon seeing him he could have sworn she shoot up in her seat as if she was drifting off before he arrived but he was never going to bring that up.

"There better not be an coffee in those cups." She said sternly as he wandered towards her. There she was again mouthing off loudly with no thought of those that were attempting to sleep. The last thing any of them needed was the ward being made loud from a distressed patient, which could have been prevented if one person just lowered their voice.

"Well if you don't want your hot chocolate I can always give it to Mo…" He smiled craftily knowing how much she craved hot chocolate at the moment. It was constant. Every hour at least she'd demand a hot chocolate from the nearest available nurse and they would be forced to abandon their duties to fulfil her needs.

"Hand it over Maconie." She stretched out her arm in front of the nurses' station waiting for him to wander just a little closer so he could reach her arm and hand her the other hot chocolate which he did without teasing her which was a first. She looked at him as he remained smiling smugly and suddenly felt uneasy. Suspicious. He facial reaction changed to be more puzzled. "What do you want?" She asked him rather carefully.

"What makes you think I want something? Can I not be nice every once in a while?" Jac didn't respond but was still suspicious of his intentions and was tempted to test whether it had been poisoned or not but that would be pushing it that far and she wanted it to look as if she wasn't bothered.

Jonny moved round the nurses' station to sit in the empty seat opposite Jac and they both started sipping their drink rather awkwardly. Jac was facing away from him pretending to be looking over some notes while his chair was facing hers and although it looked like he was staring at her his mind had got lost in his thoughts and he really wasn't paying attention. Unfortunately for him she felt his gaze on her back from the corner of her eye.

"What are you staring at?" She barked at Jonny with her back still facing him. He snapped out of his trance processing the words she said to him and taking a minute to gain his composure. "Well?" She pressed when she heard no response from the Scotsman.

Jonny was saved by Mo who made him jump by tapping him on the shoulder, "oi Jonny Mac where's my hot chocolate?" He didn't know how to reply to this and therefore chose not to respond at all. Realising this Mo decided to change the subject. "So what have you guys been talking about?"

"We haven't. I've been working while bugs bunny here has been staring at me. He's at the height of his maturity." Jac was in a sarcastic mood and the hormones were probably not helping her.

"I was not staring… I was thinking." He said rather slowly.

Mo looked at him suspiciously. "You don't do thinking." She was urging him to explain what he was thinking about using hand gestures assuming that it involved Jac. But Jonny just sat there and spoke.

"What do you think's worse being kicked in the balls or giving birth?"

"Now that explains it." Mo concluded as she realised Jonny was thinking up one of his stupid questions again.

"I'm being serious. No one ever knows what it's like to feel both so what's worse?"

"You were lucky enough to miss me giving birth but remember my contractions? That pain times a thousand." Jonny pulled a face as if to suggest that this didn't sound nice at all.

"Hello." Jac waved her hand and turned her chair round to join in the conversation. "I do exist. This conversation is coming to an immediate end now. Get on with some work Maconie or you'll find yourself begging for castration."

"She told you!" Mo said with a laugh watching as Jonny's face turned from disgust to shock horror.

"Maureen just remember you still owe me from the hand crushing." With that, Mo shut up and began working.

Jonny was about to get up and complete the half-hourly obs when he thought out loud, "but seriously what is worse?"

"Jonny," Jac barked. "Shut it."

"I was only saying."

"Well don't just say."

"Jonny Mac it's not like you've ever been kicked in the balls before." Mo chipped in.

"Well no," Jonny got up from his seat. "But I'm sure it's really painful."

"Well you can tell us yourself." Jac warned him.

"Come on all you've got to do is push. At least you're prepared for it. At least you get something at the end of it. What do we get? A loss of pride."

"Well how about I warn you now. I'm going to punch you in the balls if you don't shut up."

"Yeah right, you wouldn't dare." Jonny pushed his luck. But no one crosses a hormonal Jac and expects to get away with no harm done and Jonny found himself standing there for a moment in a state of shock before falling to the floor and rolling round like an idiot shouting, "I'm dying… someone save me… I am dying. I am dead." So much for not waking up the patients.

"Nurse Maconie stop being dramatic and get up off the floor we have hospital standards to maintain. Ms Naylor, can I have a word?" The stern voice of Mr Hanssen interrupted Jonny's plea for help.

Within a second Jonny's bum was firmly placed on a chair and Mo was ordered to grab an ice pack whilst Jac was forced to have a conversation with Mr Hanssen.

"Ms Naylor violence will not be tolerated on my wards and you will apologise immediately. If I see anything like that again I will give you a formal warning is that understood?"

"But…" Jac attempted to get her point of view.

"Ms Naylor?"

"Yes, fine." She said rather grumpily.

"And I can be assured that you will apologise to Nurse Maconie?"

"Fine."

Mr Hanssen nodded before strolling off. He never even explained what he was doing on Darwin in the first place. Jac turned to see Jonny sitting uncomfortably in a chair and Mo looking at her less than impressed with her actions.

"Jonny can I have a word with you in my office." Jac walked off and Mo watched as Jonny got up awkwardly and hobbled over to Jac's office. Jonny shut the door behind him and stood there in pain but tried his best to look fine.

"I just called you in to say I'm sorry I guess." Jac said rather blasé.

"Is that all?" Jonny asked her rather curiously.

"Yes now get out."

"Well that's not very nice is it Ms Naylor? I think you need to make it up to me."

"Is that so?" She tried her best to sound unimpressed."

"How about a dinner tonight?" Jac just smirked at him. "I'll take that as a yes then." He grinned before leaving Jac's office and heading back onto the ward.


End file.
